having a dog (ok, he's my girlfriend's dog) has resulted in me saying things i never expected, or even considered saying...most common things i have to say to him:
1) Get your nose out of Simba's butt.
2) Quit licking your feet.
3) Quit licking the carpet.
4) Blow your nose fuzzy boy.
5) You cheeky bugger (frequently said when he steals my seat).
6) Go poddy.
7) Quit pouting, I wasn't laughing at you.
reminds me a lot of the things i said to my daughter, though she never stuck her nose in a dog's butt, and she didn't lick the carpet. Things I said to her when she was young:
1) Don't put that in your mouth.
2) Don't pick the kitty up by his back leg.
3) Because, i said so.
4) Don't wipe you hands on the cat. He isn't a towel/napkin.
5) Kitty baths don't count.
6) Kitty does not want to go camping with us.