Why is it that you can't treat most people nicely with out having to pay for it later on...i always thought that if you did nice things for people that not only would they appreciate it, but that nice things would come back to you...instead what i seem to get is i do nice things for people, mostly ones who are supposed to be my friends and they not only act like it is their due, but then stick it in and break it off when i get tired of being used
Case in point...i had(notice the past tense here) what i thought were some friends who came to me for help....more than once....after all they were good(so i thought, boy was i ever wrong here) friends...i even married them(i am a minister of the ULC) in my living room....so when they needed a place to live(i had an extra room at the time) for a few months i said sure....they were after all both employed(at the time) and were going to pay their share of the bills...they were a bit short of cash and would only pay me half the rent up front and the rest later in the month...seems like a good deal all the way around...i get the empty room filled and save a bit on bills, my supposed friends get a place to live till they can find a house to rent, everyone is happy right??? HELL NO
So what really happens here is this...first they are both unemployed before the end of the second week...they are both adult....he is over 30 she is in her mid 20s...well these lazy fucks dont look for work for quite a while...it only takes her about another 5 or 6 weeks to find a job as a waitress a block away...he meanwhile is supposedly doing work building web pages(which seems to mostly consist of using my computer and then not returning it the way it was(screen resolution off...etc)) and bitching about how the customers want changes all the time....this web work however does not seem to involve getting paid and i guess a real job is out of the question...well i make ok money, but i sure dont make enough to support myself and two lazy ass adults...i am finally forced to ask for some rent money(hating to be in this position) and get this attitude like i am out of line...you know it isnt like im asking for all of their money...im telling them to make sure they keep enough for food gas and smokes, but they act like i am being some sort of asshole by expecting them to pay their own way...now he does give me rides to work sometimes(i pay for gas mind you), but i dont think it is asking much really all things considered...i also by then have found out that their idea of married bliss is to fight constantly and i am feeling like i am 15 years in the past reliving most of the worst aspects of my first marriage...fun fun fun....of course it gets worse...although they dont seem to have money for bills they always have money for beer and pot...this pisses me off, but i cant get myself to say anything for a long time....finally i do get fed up and let them know that they must get caught up on the bills or vacate by the end of the month(3 weeks away)...so they decide they are gonna move out...well they kind of start movin at odd hours, and worst of all only take the stuff they need right away, so now i have this room full of their leftovers and a bunch of trash(two full large hefty bags worth no less) and the floor looks like world war three had been held in there...of course this is far from over....they now are either telling people that they moved to get privacy or that i threw them out for no reason...well i get someone to take their old room...she cleans up the two bags of trash and packs up 5 boxes and three suitcases of their shit and stacks it neatly in the dining area where it sits for three months...i finally get tired of playing storage(unpaid of course) and when after they call the cops on me(another fun story) i toss the last box of their shit in the dumpster and of course i am once again an asshole for throwing away their valuable papers(if they were so valuable then why did they sit there for months)...so im thinking well this is all over...am i right hell no...they decide they must have revenge for all the mistreatment(??????) i heaped on them and have been spending the last 6 months or so on a smear campaign alternating this with occasionally slashing the tires on my and my roomates cars....what a great world we live in eh
Now don't worry kids, because despite this and many other examples of extending my hand in friendship only to have it spit in, I am still the same(maybe a bit sadder) nice guy as I was before i had the misfotune to meet these two...so if i see you needin my help it will probably still be there for ya
P
L
U
R
i hate not getting to make my own decisions...i mean after all i am an adult(well at least most of the time) and fully capable of deciding for myself what is and is not good for me...yet it seems like every time i turn around some one is deciding something for my own good...what i want to know is how do they know what is best for me, and who the fuck appointed them keeper of my best interests....sure wasnt me...thats for damn sure...what are their qualifications here...have they been watching my entire life....now there's a creepy thought...have they been reading my thoughts some how(an even worse thought)...and all this with out a single clue or hint no less...i may not be a genius(well maybe i am..hehehe), but im pretty sure i would have noticed something like that by now
Probably the most frustrating thing for me about not getting to make my own decisions is i trust my ability to make them...and i accept the consequences of my decisions good or bad with no complaint(ok maybe a little bitching), but then who doesnt bitch once in a while(ok ok so i bitch a lot)...anyway, as a rule i make pretty good decisions...i do actually try and think things through and weigh the possible outcomes as i see them...despite that and despite wanting to decide for myself it seems like every time i turn around another decision is taken away
Of course the worst offender hands down is the goverment...they seem dead set on deciding everything for everyone...i find this puzzling at best...after all these are people who cant decide anything in a reasonable amount of time, cant make a decision with out polling to ge6t the answer they think the public wants them to make...finds the most expensive possible way to do anything....and besides...most of them couldnt decide what to eat for lunch without their staff telling them which choice will offend the least voters...people i want making my decisions for sure....just look at the record of good(yeah right) decisions made by our government(no we are not going to get off on that tangent today)...but it isnt just the government doing this...it is my friends, family, coworkers, etc. making decisions for me too...for the most part they are made because they truly care for me, but it doenst really amke it any better a lot of the time, because it seems like the ones that hurt me the worst are the ones made to shield me from something bad or from pain or what ever the fuck...it all ends up the same way though...i end up unhappy or hurt and always angry or feeling cheated because i didnt get to decide for myself...so the next time you decide to take away some one elses decision, STOP, think twice(three times even), weigh it out, be honest in whether it is really going to save them pain...and then dont fucking do it anyway...LET US DECIDE FOR OUR OWN SELVES WHAT IS GOOD FOR US....that's it till next time
P
L
U
R
every so often i get accused of either acting my age or more commonly not acting my age...this mystifies me to no end...i mean really, who the hell decides what you are supposed to act like at some certain age...so i dont act all serious and stuffy most of the time....so i still derive a fair amount of childlike enjoyment from things....and yes i listen to music that my child listens to, and like it, even understand it...this is wrong???why???i feel sorry for those who have forgotten how to appreciate fun and are so busy being grown up that they dont let themselves relax or try something new...just because a lot of othe people do something does NOT mean it is the right way or only way to be...after all it isnt like we are all clones(thank you thank you thank you)...is there a book of rules that i missed somewhere that says that you must turn into a grouch once you turn 30 or 40 or 50 or whatever...well maybe there is, after all i have never been really good at staying inside the lines....but why should i...who drew those lines...who appointed that person behaviour czar ayway...seems like that person needs a big dose of sugar and a few hours playing in the balls...yes you have to be more responsible once you are an adult...you know the obvious shit like holding a job, paying living expenses and that, but this doesnt mean that you have to stomp fun out of your life
i will be the first to admit that fun is not the same thing for everyone, but some things are kind of universal(or at least should be)...flying a kite is fun, sitting around with a few good friends and talking about goofy shit is fun....hell doing almost anything with a few good friends is fun(or should be anyway)....rainbows are fun...lightning is the best light show on this planet(except for maybe a sunrise or sunset)...chilling(or dancing) to music is fun...for me bitching and writing is kinda fun in some sick warped way(ok more cathartic, but thats a fun of sorts...cuddling with the person you love is FUN at its best...of course even fun can be not fun when there is too much of it...in the words of a friend of mine "i was sitting on the couch tripping too hard and my brain went fun fun boom"...so you do have to know when to slow down a bit
not fun???
well for me not fun is wearing a tie...who came up with that stupid idea anyway...wtf, who would want to choke themselves(nevermind maybe we will discuss that another time)....wearing a suit is not fun most of the time...i see women wearing not fun things everyday(heels look good yes, but i dont think you can call that fun in any book if you are wearing them)...shaving is not fun(unless you are a masochist)...work very very unfun...any brush with the injustice sytem so very unfun...and taxes, well duh
so if we must do these unfun things, i feel balance them with fun things...remember that you dont have to be a GROWN UP 24/7...you're a parent you say...well hell then have fun with your kids...play tea party or with his trucks...let your hair down(if you have any left) and brush those cobwebs off your imagination and play a little...remember this is probably the only life you have to enjoy...dont waste it being a serious grown up all the time...act like a kid...act any age you want(ok not terrible two) from time to time...and smile when you see others doing so too...worry, but be happy too...it can be done
P
L
U
R
we have free coffee at the office...most people think this is a good thing...i used to think so once upon a time, but now im not so sure...free coffee like so many other things has been so abused by the lazy and selfish that any joy of getting FREE coffee has been killed by the fact that I have become one of the unfortunate, who due to having manners and saddled with thinking of others is forced to make a new pot every time i want a cup....i know i know...its not that big a deal, but the principal of the thing is...it is all about respect, consideration and courtesy
Here is the deal....if you go to get a cup and that leaves a cup or less in the pot then you are SUPPOSED to make a new pot...it isnt rocket science...i mean how hard is it to empty the filter basket, put a new filter in, dump in ONE bag of grounds and omg push the brew button...i know it is a pian sometimes, but geez...we are talking all of two minutes here at most...we even had a sign telling the ignorant how to do this in inch high letters(right next to the one that says dont turn off the pot-make a new one in 2 inch letters) and despite this 4 out of five times i will find an empty pot with a lyer of tar sditting on the burner or empty pot and the burner off or 9what the fuck is the point of this) a pot full of water on the burner...i guess maybe making coffee is rocket science???there are other coffee slaves here...i know this because we occasionally cross paths to bitch to each other about having to make a pot every time we want a cup
I often wondered who these coffee scum were...you so rarely catch them at it you know...after all it isnt like i can spend all day staking out the coffee pots to catch the culprits in the act...but after enough time it was bound to happen that i would catch one or two in the act...this of course was both amusing and sad at the same time...its pretty funny watching someone try and wriggle out of when caught with their hand in the cookie jar so to speak...sad because the excuses were as lame as i have ever heard...here are a few:
I don't have the time(ten minute explanation)
I didn't want to mess up my clothes???(you mean you cant make coffee with out dirtying yourself, but can drink with out spilling)
I didn't know how(obviously you cant read either)
I didnt know i was supposed to(same as above)
I couldnt find the coffee(how many illiterate people do i work with anyway)
I didnt see the sign(blind as well as inconsiderate i guess)
well if nothing else i do get the fun of humiliating them when i can...oh last aside, i went for coffee in the middle of writing this...ten minutes ago i had left 1 1/2 pots of coffee in the room and guess what...you know it...i am not a coffee slave(yeah right)
P
L
U
R
well usually as you all can tell i try to use humor, but this once i couldnt find anything funny on this subject...so here it is, true seriousnesss for a moment...this is a plea to everyone who can vote, when the elections come up in november i am asking that you vote AGAINST Bush...any one will be better than him...why you ask, well ok here it is:
He is a hypocrite...it was ok for him to have fun and do drugs when he was younger, but it apparently is not ok for everyone else...in the last few years he has increased Texas prison population by over %1000, focusing of course on anyone using or selling drugs
His religious views are frightening(unless you belong to his religion...he seems to feel that those of us who prefer to follow other beliefs are at best requiring enlightenment, and at worst are subhuman and don't deserve the same freedoms and protections as right thinking people
While we are at it lets look at how concerned he really seems to be about children...dallas has one of the highest rates of abuse and deaths by parent in the country, C.P.S. is so underfunded that caseworkers are expected to carry double the caseload they should be carrying...they are underpaid, so they cant retain experienced caseworkers.....schools, well same problem more or less...underfunded...cant keep teachers, let alone entice quality teachers to come work here...low relative test scores in most cities...and of course dallas at least can't keep from getting caught in a major scandle or two a year, mostly involving misuse of monies
Mental Health...well the policy seems to be why bother providing quality, readily available care/assistance...easier to wait until someone commits a crime and is obviously(foaming at the mouth perhaps) crazy or gives the right(wrong?) answer to one of a few questions, or flat asks for it...then you will definately receive some sort of treatment, but not necessarily the correct treatment...just because you happen to be the lucky recipiant of some sort of biochemical imbalance or any of the many other possibilities, doesnt mean you should be locked up, let alone be in jail...by the way, jail is generally not a very good treatment for mental illness
Last but not least, following a tornado last week which romped through Ft. Worth, he couldn't seem to stop chasing votes long enough to pay a visit and ensure that the state provided what assistance was needed by those who lost their homes, jobs etc....after all he is still our governor, *sigh*, alas, and usually governors do those kind of things, because they are supposed to care about us, and it is their job too.
sorry for running on...i can get a bit wound up about things sometimes...lol...ok, all the time...i hope you at least check some of these things out for yourself and then find someone more deserving of your vote
P
L
U
R