Last Diaryland Entry
when did the definition for free change...because the definition in the dictionary and the way it is used don't seem to match anymore...this will probably be boring wierd or someting, but i give you a comparison...the definitions from merriam-webster vs. how it is misused today in reality...warning, this will be long and perhaps dry
Merriam-Webster's Main Entry:
1free
Pronunciation: 'frE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): fre·er; fre·est
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English frEo; akin to Old High German frI free, Welsh rhydd, Sanskrit priya own, dear
Date: before 12th century
1 a : having the legal and political rights of a citizen
b : enjoying civil and political liberty -free citizens-
c : enjoying political independence or freedom from outside domination
d : enjoying personal freedom : not subject to the control or domination of another
this appears simple, but think about it...first citizen of what nation(assume the united states), how many people actually know what those rights are today(this changes as defined by the supreme court, remember)...we don't truly have either civil or political freedom here(there are rules and limits)...free from outside domination(not hardly)...and every law makes us subject to someone's control(even when they are not violated...the minority is always dominated by the majority)
2 a : not determined by anything beyond its own nature or being : choosing or capable of choosing for itself
b : determined by the choice of the actor or performer -free actions-
c : made, done, or given voluntarily or spontaneously
some of us are more free than others, because you must be willing to take responsibility for chosing and live with your choice....too many want someone else to choose for them
3 a : relieved from or lacking something unpleasant or burdensome -free from pain- -a speech free of political rhetoric-
b : not bound, confined, or detained by force
everyone has some burdens and or pain...we are all bound by laws enforced by confinement(unless you are O.J.), and we are very free compared to most nations
4 a : having no trade restrictions
b : not subject to government regulation of foreign exchange
c : not subject to restriction or official control
there is no such animal anywhere i know of in any way as defined here
5 a : having no obligations (as to work) or commitments -I'll be free this evening-
b : not taken up with commitments or obligations -a free evening-
i admit..this does exist pretty much, although it gets abused so badly in common usage that most people lay false claim to it(if you make plans it is no longer a free evening, just a less structured one)
6 : having a scope not restricted by qualification -a free variable-
only in pure math and science
7 a (1) : not obstructed or impeded : CLEAR (2) : not being used or occupied -waved with his free hand-
b : not hampered or restricted in its normal operation
ok, this one is still properly used
8 a : not fastened -the free end of the rope-
b : not confined to a particular position or place; also : not having a specific opponent to cover in football -a free safety-
c : capable of moving or turning in any direction -a free particle-
d : performed without apparatus -free tumbling-
e : done with artificial aids (as pitons) used only for protection against falling and not for support -a free climb-
mostly still properly used although "e" is an oxymoron(leave it to an athlete to invent this usage)
9 a : not parsimonious -free spending-
(rare, but still valid)
b : OUTSPOKEN
(very rare...after all there are always consequences to being outspoken)
c : availing oneself of something without stint
(once again find where it happens)
d : FRANK, OPEN
(see outspoken)
e : overly familiar or forward in action or attitude
f : LICENTIOUS
I wonder when they slipped these last two in...they seem to be obvious contradictions)
10 : not costing or charging anything
here is the really fun one...how much is truly free...postage and handling is a cost...%20 more free is really just paying less for the rest(after all you can't get just the free %20)...buy one get one free is really half off...your time, btw, is also worth something to someone(think about it)
11 a (1) : not united with, attached to, combined with, or mixed with something else : SEPARATE -free ores- -a free surface of a bodily part- (2) : FREESTANDING -a free column-
(back to math and science here)
b : chemically uncombined -free oxygen- -free acids-
c : not permanently attached but able to move about -a free electron in a metal-d : capable of being used alone as a meaningful linguistic form -the word hats is a free form- -- compare 5BOUND 7
(ok, i am really confused here)
12 a : not literal or exact -free translation-
(ok, we found the one free that is in overabundant existance)
b : not restricted by or conforming to conventional forms -free skating-OXYMORON...if you don't understand, then see what comprises free skating in the olympics)
13 : FAVORABLE -- used of a wind blowing from a direction more than six points from dead ahead
(ok, another real use left if you sail)
14 : not allowing slavery
(what about indentured servitude)
15 : open to all comers
(no such thing...eveyone places some restrictions on who is welcome...even me, hell especially me)
so as you can see while so many things are claimed to be free, nothing really is...free speech, not a chance...free choice, dream on...free will, maybe if you are a total anarchist...free lunch, you may not pay money, but i bet you pay somehow...just remember in this world "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch" and at least you won't be left wondering how to pay when the bill comes due
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been reflecting on the sad state of education here in texas...it can be hard not to think about it when there is something in the paper nearly every day after all...things are in a rather sad state(no pun intended) here these days...between trying to find a superintendant of schools and teachers being in shorter demand than water in the desert, and a bit of violence, some intoxication, a few other minor transgressions and of course TAAS, the lessons being taught in school are not the ones i think were intended...i was trying to figure out the problem and i came to the conclusion it is the damned "new math"
new math is very interesting stuff...how else do you explain spending over $250,000 in a district where teachers earn well below the national average in wages...where the school board is a bit late in renewing their contract with the HMO resulting in drastically higher premiums for these same underpaid teachers...where the important thing is that TAAS scores are higher as are college entrance scores, although strangely they have not improved in relation to the national average...wherethere is always enough money for more prisons, but never enough for more quality education
but they get a good education you say(ok the politicians say)...look at the scores...well you know scores don't make an education...after all it is much easier to study a test than to learn how to think(if you don't believe me just look at the large number of MCSE's who don't understand computers)...see new math dictates that quantity beats quality any day...new math says that there is no class size too large...after all if the average student teacher ratio should be 15 to 1, why then 30 to one is twice as good and 45 to one is 4 times as good(oops 3 times)...makes perfect sense...why waste time teaching those boring old basic foundations...forget training students to think...we can teach them to pass a standardized exam for less
oh yes let us not forget discipline...we dont need that either...just make the rules simpler and tell the teachers to enforce them, but don't upset any parent while doing it, because junior is always right(as long as they leave their gun at home)...new math even seems to say that you can rewrite history if it offends someone(must be politically correct after all)...forget those difficult literature assignments, because we have banned all those books anyway(besides who needs books, when you have a computer), after all reading is a waste of time anyway, TV is much better...new math even teaches civics...break a rule(NO TOLERANCE) and get sent to remedial school(unless you can afford to sue), because we must fill those slots we paid for
hell new math has even redefined the constitution and the dictionary...yes really...under new math it is now ok to hold prayer before a school football game, as long as it is led by a student and is spontanious(that is what they call students organizing it beforehand here)...discrimination now means not being able to opress the few with out being critisized(so says sante fe)...what a wonderful state we live in...well at least new math hasnt' rewritten science(creationism as valid scientific theory) here yet, but i'm sure it is only a matter of time
maybe everyone will figure it out(oops that requires old math skills) before it is too late...if not, who knows, they may legislate learning back into school...you might have to earn a diploma...we may even elect an honest president...peace might break out...you never know
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well...i'm back after a bit of a hiatus...seems like life has this odd habit of reminding me that i shouldn't take things for granted...especially not those small things like having a job, a home or sanity(tho this is a relative thing anyway)...i have to remember to stay alert for that other shoe dropping...i admit that it was my own fault, i got a bit cocky...i forgot that although you can make yourself irreplacable at work, this does you no good if you company mismanages themselves out of the contract you work on(btw, being able to say "i told you so" doesn't pay your bills)...if you are not working, then unfortunately you often no longer have a home(if you can't pay the rent they throw you out of the kitchen)
I also sold too many of my friends short in too many ways...some(ok almost all of them) i expected too much out of them...i have this problem with holding others to the same impossible standards i hold myself...it isn't like i am a perfectionist(well not exactly), but i have very high standards for my behavior and actions(i disappoint myself frequently, alas)...i also don't cut myself much slack when i fall short(yes, this leads to lots of problems), and am very hard on myself when i fall short...needless to say i am disappointed in myself all too often, and alas get disappointed in others quite often too...i should not blame some one for taking advantage of me, when i spoil them...if you consistantly let some one bend your rules, you should not be surprised when they break them...this is probably not one of my better similies, but i hope you get what i mean
My most foolish mistake though was in thinking that some members of my family had changed....hrmmmmm....changed how they dealt with me, or perhaps in how they relate to me is more accurate...i really should know better, after all i haven't changed much in how i relate to them, so why should they change...these expectations lead to occasional disapointments of monumental proportions...which sometimes leads to loss of things like a sense of who i am, or having self esteem and so on ad nauseum...anyway im back and will be writing again(for good or otherwise)...so until next time
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Why is it that you can't treat most people nicely with out having to pay for it later on...i always thought that if you did nice things for people that not only would they appreciate it, but that nice things would come back to you...instead what i seem to get is i do nice things for people, mostly ones who are supposed to be my friends and they not only act like it is their due, but then stick it in and break it off when i get tired of being used
Case in point...i had(notice the past tense here) what i thought were some friends who came to me for help....more than once....after all they were good(so i thought, boy was i ever wrong here) friends...i even married them(i am a minister of the ULC) in my living room....so when they needed a place to live(i had an extra room at the time) for a few months i said sure....they were after all both employed(at the time) and were going to pay their share of the bills...they were a bit short of cash and would only pay me half the rent up front and the rest later in the month...seems like a good deal all the way around...i get the empty room filled and save a bit on bills, my supposed friends get a place to live till they can find a house to rent, everyone is happy right??? HELL NO
So what really happens here is this...first they are both unemployed before the end of the second week...they are both adult....he is over 30 she is in her mid 20s...well these lazy fucks dont look for work for quite a while...it only takes her about another 5 or 6 weeks to find a job as a waitress a block away...he meanwhile is supposedly doing work building web pages(which seems to mostly consist of using my computer and then not returning it the way it was(screen resolution off...etc)) and bitching about how the customers want changes all the time....this web work however does not seem to involve getting paid and i guess a real job is out of the question...well i make ok money, but i sure dont make enough to support myself and two lazy ass adults...i am finally forced to ask for some rent money(hating to be in this position) and get this attitude like i am out of line...you know it isnt like im asking for all of their money...im telling them to make sure they keep enough for food gas and smokes, but they act like i am being some sort of asshole by expecting them to pay their own way...now he does give me rides to work sometimes(i pay for gas mind you), but i dont think it is asking much really all things considered...i also by then have found out that their idea of married bliss is to fight constantly and i am feeling like i am 15 years in the past reliving most of the worst aspects of my first marriage...fun fun fun....of course it gets worse...although they dont seem to have money for bills they always have money for beer and pot...this pisses me off, but i cant get myself to say anything for a long time....finally i do get fed up and let them know that they must get caught up on the bills or vacate by the end of the month(3 weeks away)...so they decide they are gonna move out...well they kind of start movin at odd hours, and worst of all only take the stuff they need right away, so now i have this room full of their leftovers and a bunch of trash(two full large hefty bags worth no less) and the floor looks like world war three had been held in there...of course this is far from over....they now are either telling people that they moved to get privacy or that i threw them out for no reason...well i get someone to take their old room...she cleans up the two bags of trash and packs up 5 boxes and three suitcases of their shit and stacks it neatly in the dining area where it sits for three months...i finally get tired of playing storage(unpaid of course) and when after they call the cops on me(another fun story) i toss the last box of their shit in the dumpster and of course i am once again an asshole for throwing away their valuable papers(if they were so valuable then why did they sit there for months)...so im thinking well this is all over...am i right hell no...they decide they must have revenge for all the mistreatment(??????) i heaped on them and have been spending the last 6 months or so on a smear campaign alternating this with occasionally slashing the tires on my and my roomates cars....what a great world we live in eh
Now don't worry kids, because despite this and many other examples of extending my hand in friendship only to have it spit in, I am still the same(maybe a bit sadder) nice guy as I was before i had the misfotune to meet these two...so if i see you needin my help it will probably still be there for ya
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i hate not getting to make my own decisions...i mean after all i am an adult(well at least most of the time) and fully capable of deciding for myself what is and is not good for me...yet it seems like every time i turn around some one is deciding something for my own good...what i want to know is how do they know what is best for me, and who the fuck appointed them keeper of my best interests....sure wasnt me...thats for damn sure...what are their qualifications here...have they been watching my entire life....now there's a creepy thought...have they been reading my thoughts some how(an even worse thought)...and all this with out a single clue or hint no less...i may not be a genius(well maybe i am..hehehe), but im pretty sure i would have noticed something like that by now
Probably the most frustrating thing for me about not getting to make my own decisions is i trust my ability to make them...and i accept the consequences of my decisions good or bad with no complaint(ok maybe a little bitching), but then who doesnt bitch once in a while(ok ok so i bitch a lot)...anyway, as a rule i make pretty good decisions...i do actually try and think things through and weigh the possible outcomes as i see them...despite that and despite wanting to decide for myself it seems like every time i turn around another decision is taken away
Of course the worst offender hands down is the goverment...they seem dead set on deciding everything for everyone...i find this puzzling at best...after all these are people who cant decide anything in a reasonable amount of time, cant make a decision with out polling to ge6t the answer they think the public wants them to make...finds the most expensive possible way to do anything....and besides...most of them couldnt decide what to eat for lunch without their staff telling them which choice will offend the least voters...people i want making my decisions for sure....just look at the record of good(yeah right) decisions made by our government(no we are not going to get off on that tangent today)...but it isnt just the government doing this...it is my friends, family, coworkers, etc. making decisions for me too...for the most part they are made because they truly care for me, but it doenst really amke it any better a lot of the time, because it seems like the ones that hurt me the worst are the ones made to shield me from something bad or from pain or what ever the fuck...it all ends up the same way though...i end up unhappy or hurt and always angry or feeling cheated because i didnt get to decide for myself...so the next time you decide to take away some one elses decision, STOP, think twice(three times even), weigh it out, be honest in whether it is really going to save them pain...and then dont fucking do it anyway...LET US DECIDE FOR OUR OWN SELVES WHAT IS GOOD FOR US....that's it till next time
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every so often i get accused of either acting my age or more commonly not acting my age...this mystifies me to no end...i mean really, who the hell decides what you are supposed to act like at some certain age...so i dont act all serious and stuffy most of the time....so i still derive a fair amount of childlike enjoyment from things....and yes i listen to music that my child listens to, and like it, even understand it...this is wrong???why???i feel sorry for those who have forgotten how to appreciate fun and are so busy being grown up that they dont let themselves relax or try something new...just because a lot of othe people do something does NOT mean it is the right way or only way to be...after all it isnt like we are all clones(thank you thank you thank you)...is there a book of rules that i missed somewhere that says that you must turn into a grouch once you turn 30 or 40 or 50 or whatever...well maybe there is, after all i have never been really good at staying inside the lines....but why should i...who drew those lines...who appointed that person behaviour czar ayway...seems like that person needs a big dose of sugar and a few hours playing in the balls...yes you have to be more responsible once you are an adult...you know the obvious shit like holding a job, paying living expenses and that, but this doesnt mean that you have to stomp fun out of your life
i will be the first to admit that fun is not the same thing for everyone, but some things are kind of universal(or at least should be)...flying a kite is fun, sitting around with a few good friends and talking about goofy shit is fun....hell doing almost anything with a few good friends is fun(or should be anyway)....rainbows are fun...lightning is the best light show on this planet(except for maybe a sunrise or sunset)...chilling(or dancing) to music is fun...for me bitching and writing is kinda fun in some sick warped way(ok more cathartic, but thats a fun of sorts...cuddling with the person you love is FUN at its best...of course even fun can be not fun when there is too much of it...in the words of a friend of mine "i was sitting on the couch tripping too hard and my brain went fun fun boom"...so you do have to know when to slow down a bit
not fun???
well for me not fun is wearing a tie...who came up with that stupid idea anyway...wtf, who would want to choke themselves(nevermind maybe we will discuss that another time)....wearing a suit is not fun most of the time...i see women wearing not fun things everyday(heels look good yes, but i dont think you can call that fun in any book if you are wearing them)...shaving is not fun(unless you are a masochist)...work very very unfun...any brush with the injustice sytem so very unfun...and taxes, well duh
so if we must do these unfun things, i feel balance them with fun things...remember that you dont have to be a GROWN UP 24/7...you're a parent you say...well hell then have fun with your kids...play tea party or with his trucks...let your hair down(if you have any left) and brush those cobwebs off your imagination and play a little...remember this is probably the only life you have to enjoy...dont waste it being a serious grown up all the time...act like a kid...act any age you want(ok not terrible two) from time to time...and smile when you see others doing so too...worry, but be happy too...it can be done
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we have free coffee at the office...most people think this is a good thing...i used to think so once upon a time, but now im not so sure...free coffee like so many other things has been so abused by the lazy and selfish that any joy of getting FREE coffee has been killed by the fact that I have become one of the unfortunate, who due to having manners and saddled with thinking of others is forced to make a new pot every time i want a cup....i know i know...its not that big a deal, but the principal of the thing is...it is all about respect, consideration and courtesy
Here is the deal....if you go to get a cup and that leaves a cup or less in the pot then you are SUPPOSED to make a new pot...it isnt rocket science...i mean how hard is it to empty the filter basket, put a new filter in, dump in ONE bag of grounds and omg push the brew button...i know it is a pian sometimes, but geez...we are talking all of two minutes here at most...we even had a sign telling the ignorant how to do this in inch high letters(right next to the one that says dont turn off the pot-make a new one in 2 inch letters) and despite this 4 out of five times i will find an empty pot with a lyer of tar sditting on the burner or empty pot and the burner off or 9what the fuck is the point of this) a pot full of water on the burner...i guess maybe making coffee is rocket science???there are other coffee slaves here...i know this because we occasionally cross paths to bitch to each other about having to make a pot every time we want a cup
I often wondered who these coffee scum were...you so rarely catch them at it you know...after all it isnt like i can spend all day staking out the coffee pots to catch the culprits in the act...but after enough time it was bound to happen that i would catch one or two in the act...this of course was both amusing and sad at the same time...its pretty funny watching someone try and wriggle out of when caught with their hand in the cookie jar so to speak...sad because the excuses were as lame as i have ever heard...here are a few:
I don't have the time(ten minute explanation)
I didn't want to mess up my clothes???(you mean you cant make coffee with out dirtying yourself, but can drink with out spilling)
I didn't know how(obviously you cant read either)
I didnt know i was supposed to(same as above)
I couldnt find the coffee(how many illiterate people do i work with anyway)
I didnt see the sign(blind as well as inconsiderate i guess)
well if nothing else i do get the fun of humiliating them when i can...oh last aside, i went for coffee in the middle of writing this...ten minutes ago i had left 1 1/2 pots of coffee in the room and guess what...you know it...i am not a coffee slave(yeah right)
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well usually as you all can tell i try to use humor, but this once i couldnt find anything funny on this subject...so here it is, true seriousnesss for a moment...this is a plea to everyone who can vote, when the elections come up in november i am asking that you vote AGAINST Bush...any one will be better than him...why you ask, well ok here it is:
He is a hypocrite...it was ok for him to have fun and do drugs when he was younger, but it apparently is not ok for everyone else...in the last few years he has increased Texas prison population by over %1000, focusing of course on anyone using or selling drugs
His religious views are frightening(unless you belong to his religion...he seems to feel that those of us who prefer to follow other beliefs are at best requiring enlightenment, and at worst are subhuman and don't deserve the same freedoms and protections as right thinking people
While we are at it lets look at how concerned he really seems to be about children...dallas has one of the highest rates of abuse and deaths by parent in the country, C.P.S. is so underfunded that caseworkers are expected to carry double the caseload they should be carrying...they are underpaid, so they cant retain experienced caseworkers.....schools, well same problem more or less...underfunded...cant keep teachers, let alone entice quality teachers to come work here...low relative test scores in most cities...and of course dallas at least can't keep from getting caught in a major scandle or two a year, mostly involving misuse of monies
Mental Health...well the policy seems to be why bother providing quality, readily available care/assistance...easier to wait until someone commits a crime and is obviously(foaming at the mouth perhaps) crazy or gives the right(wrong?) answer to one of a few questions, or flat asks for it...then you will definately receive some sort of treatment, but not necessarily the correct treatment...just because you happen to be the lucky recipiant of some sort of biochemical imbalance or any of the many other possibilities, doesnt mean you should be locked up, let alone be in jail...by the way, jail is generally not a very good treatment for mental illness
Last but not least, following a tornado last week which romped through Ft. Worth, he couldn't seem to stop chasing votes long enough to pay a visit and ensure that the state provided what assistance was needed by those who lost their homes, jobs etc....after all he is still our governor, *sigh*, alas, and usually governors do those kind of things, because they are supposed to care about us, and it is their job too.
sorry for running on...i can get a bit wound up about things sometimes...lol...ok, all the time...i hope you at least check some of these things out for yourself and then find someone more deserving of your vote
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well it was bound to happen soon, but i was still caught by surprise...im reading the paper this morning(remember i told you i am a reading fanatic) and there it was in black and white, the next sure sign of the coming apocalipse...what was you ask, check this out and disagree if you can...n sync's new album sold 2.4 million copies in the first seven days....now i know a lot of you out there think, so what....but really think about this....thats almost twice what backstreet boys sold in the same period last year...2.4 million copies...most of the music i and my friends like will never even come close to selling that many copies in 7 years let alone 7 days...2.4 million copies...thats probably 30 million dollars or more in revenue...you figure it out...making that kind of money will only encourage them to make more albums...worse yet another ten bands just like them are gonna spring up to try and grab their piece of the pie...we will be deluged with n sync and their imatators...as if they werent bad enough by themselves, just think, in a year there will be dozens more "bands" just like them...thrie "music" will be everywhere...it will be the new muzac...worse yet every big movie will want their music becuase it sells...they will be everywhere on tv and on every radio station...we wont be able to get away from it...now if that isnt hell on earth i dont know what is...so here is what we do....all of you need to help stoop this madness...i want you to be vigilant...watch you little brother or sister, your gay older brother, or your children....watch them carefully, and if you see them reach for that n sync, or backstreet boys or brittany spears or christina agulerra cd...or when they turn to that station on the radio or tv...MAKE THEM STOP...perform an intervention, an excorsism, send them to rehab, whatever it takes to break them of this foul habit...let them know that you understand(even though we dont), remind them you still love them...help them be strong...and of course play them some real music...show them what it should be...and maybe we can stop this thing before it is too late
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what the hell ever happened to courtesy...is it really such a difficult thing to say thank you once in a while...or perhaps take that extra 3 or 4 seconds getting home and not cut someone off and then slam on your brakes...Or treat the person on the other end of the phone as a human being rather than assume my purpose in life is to be the recepticle for you lack of manners or that i dont have feelings too...i mean really, when did it become ok to treat people you dont know like we are personally responsible for every bad thing that has happened in your life...like i picked you out of a crowd at random and thought, hey, im gonna follow you for a few years and make sure nothing works right for you...so im sorry that you server isnt working right because there is a bug, or youre too damn lazy to read the manual...and im sorry that your boss is a raving lunatic and has threatened bodily harm to your entire family, but i didnt make it...i dont make huge profits from your misery...not even a little one for that matter...im just the poor slob that happens to understand how things work, because i amde an effort to...and i can speak to you in plain term rather than techie...so ease up a bit there....tell ya what, you treat me with a little respect or at least courtesy and your problem gets fixed quicker, and i dont have to go home and smoke pot for a couple of hours to keep from getting an ulcer or breaking shit to burn off the anger from putting up with crap like that for way too little money...see we both benefit that way...and you know what...i probably wont have any urge to be patronising or stick you at the bottom of my list...you know, it a strange world we live in...as a group the coolest strangers i come across are ravers...you fear them, dont like the way they look, or the drugs they do, and cant understand the music, but they are all about friendliness, respect and being happy(whoa, pretty suspicious concept there)...so they treat strangers like their friends...and you know what....they go home happy and more often than not with a new friend or two...so maybe all of you supposed adults out there, trying so hard to be what they tell you to be, why dont you take a deep breath, and remember that just because you dont know us we are still people too...give us the same respect and courtesy you want, wait, no demand...who knows, maybe you will be a little happier...a bit less tense...maybe if we are all really lucky, the world is a nicer place for all of us....you are never too old to learn from your children, or your peers
Peace
Love
Unity
Respect
This is my first diaryland journal entry
well here we go...my best friend suggested i do this feeling that i might have something amusing to say...who knows he might be right, but then again
who am i???
well im old enough to figure out you can learn something valuable from everyone, didnt say good, just valuable...long hair, tattoos, bipolar and fairly outside the lines in most ways...i have an incredible, beautiful wonderful daughter that i love with all my heart, and miss constantly(she lives far away)...lots more on her in other entries...oh yeah, i live in dallas(not a great place to visit or live in), but strangely enough a truly great place to find friends...i suppose you would call me a geek in a lot of ways, being as i spend too much time on my computer and am pretty much a techie where it counts...i am an avid reader(as much as a book a day) and love music...pretty much like everything from classic rock to psytrance....no country, rap or opera tho...been getting into the rave scene at the urging of best friend, in fact he is the one who finally got me to LISTEN to techno(it took persistance) and found not only is there some incredible music and wildly talented musicians, but that raves tend to be more fun than traditional concerts, because people are much friendlier and considerate(and happier) than their traditionalist counterparts...news flash: Contrary to popular belief, people dont go to raves to do drugs...they go for the music, to dance and have fun...a lot of people may decide to enhance their enjoyment chemically, but lots dont...personally, i dont care as long as you arent obnoxious about it either way(millitant sobriety is just as annoying as being too fucked up)...in fact i really like most of the candy kids and e-tards...what the hell is wrong with wanting to meet people and hand out smiles and hugs...ummmmm, yeah i have been known to alter my frame of mind from time to time...real life frequently sucks and while you cant really escape it, you can dull those sharp edges a bit...i am NOT saying that you should use drugs(including alcohol), because it isnt for everyone...there are an all sorts of people who should never do any drug(including alcohol) except under medical supervision...nuff said for now(more on this some other time)
my friends...i have wonderful friends...the best friends anyone could ever hope for...we have been through hell together(more on this another time im sure)... and i know i can trust them in every way...trust is priceless, literally, you cant buy, beg, borrow or steal it(duh), only earn it...i am really lucky to have met them all(more later)
i hope that i can get the occasional laugh or smile from you, thank you...if you find that the things im saying(or my mangled grammar, punctuation and spelling) offend you or go against popular beliefs, oh well...i hope at least you think before dismissing it...keeping an open mind wont kill you, really it wont...dont believe me, well then research it yourself...information is out there if you look
Feel free to email me your comments, good or bad