seems that sometimes the autorities are almost as stupid, though not quite as some criminals...four inmates in a Rogersville, Tenn jail, took advantage of the cellblock doors being accidentally unlocked to go buy some beer...a faulty control panel is being blamed for the jailers not being alerted to the unlockd door...the inmates left their cell, used a bible to prop a fire exit door open, and then made a hole in the exercise yard fence to escape...they then walked to a nearby market, bought beer, and then returned to their cells to party with the beer...they mistakenly assumed that if they returned, they wouldn't be charged with escaping...they not only have been charged with escaping, but also with introducing intoxicants into a penal institution...as if any jail needs to be introduced to intoxicants...obviously they are quite familiar with them already...seems that the jailers should be charged with gross laziness, and inciting crime.
walmart has done it again, and really pissed me off this time...a few weeks ago they instituted their new policy of only selling cigarettes from the tobacco counter, which was a big pain, because they only have one lane designated for that...annoying, but livable, though i hated making people only needing a thing or so wait longer, because i was buying a carton of cigs as part of normal shopping....their rational for this change was to prevent sale of cigarettes to minors...i'm really not sure how this matters, but then who ever said logic dictates such decisions...anyway, today they changed the policy to make the tobacco lane a 10 item or less only lane...this is totally idiotic...i guess they want us smokers to shop elsewhere...after all it isn't like i am going to make a separate trip to the store just to buy smokes...asking why they had done this, i was told it is corporate policy...gee, i never would have guessed that such a boneheaded idea came from corporate...the store manager seemed to think that i was crazy for being miffed about the change, and that my reply to their lack of interest in a customer's feelings on shopping in their establishment of no consequence, stating that this was most likely going to force me to shop at Brookshires, despite high prices, follishness...well fuck them, and their lame ass policies...brookshires it will be...it might be different if it wasn't a 20 minute round trip drive to either store, but i'm not gonna make special trips into town to suit them...fuckers...
Found this little gem: Wizbang: Good teachers are hard to find...perhaps the instructor should have attended his own class before teaching it...or maybe he just wanted to go that extra mile to prove his point...either way, he should tattoo himself a note on the back of his gun hand: The Gun Is ALWAYS Loaded, Stupid...at least he can take comfort in knowing that he certainly got the point across to the class.
read this here: Wizbang: Reality TV Gone Mad!, and here: Electric Venom: I'm Beyond Disgusted, and was apalled beyond belief by this...at first i thought it was some sort of sick joke, but quickly realized to my dismay that it was not...the story was detailed by The New York Post on the 28th...the idea that in anyone's eye, turning an adoption into some sort of reality show contest, with winners and losers is wrong in every possible way...first, and foremost, crap like this can only result in losers...since when is it ok for a baby to be handed out like a prize....the worst thing, is that this is not some cheesy show, but part of 20/20, which is supposed to be a reputable news show...not anymore....i'm sure lots of people will watch, and worse, find nothing wrong with this whole thing...just another sure sign of the decay of society.
Dallas police are searching for a man who drove off in a squad car after he was left alone in the back seat with his hands cuffed behind him...the man was stopped on suspicion of drunk driving by an officer working alone...the officer left him alone in the car while he was interviewing a passenger...Dallas is the only city in the area which uses vehicles without a cage separating the front and back seats.
wish i could have been there to see this one...better yet, to have been there when the moron officer tried to explain his total ineptitude to his shift supervisor...the police recovered the vehicle about ten minutes after it was reported stolen, but the suspect was long gone...i guess the cop forgot that the average person can easily get their legs passed through their cuffed arms, and even with cuffs on, driving a car is a snap, especially when it was left running...bet that officer will be working some very unpleasant assignment for quite a while after this...wonder if the guy had trouble getting the cuffs off...wonder if they will ever find him...will wondering never cease.
seems that Santa Fe, New Mexico is considering passing an ordinance to ensure that your dog is safe when you take it for a ride...the ordinance would require any dog riding in the bed of a truck to be in a crate or container, and dogs riding in the passenger compartment to wear a seat belt...it's things like this that remind me that Santa Fe truly competes with California for pointless legislation to protect what doesn't need protection...while i'm sure that there are some accidents where the dog died because it was not belted in, or had jumped out of the truck, i can't believe that there are very many...i'm also pretty certain that the well meaning idiots who wrote this pointless law have no real proof that it will in fact prevent dog deaths...while having your dog in a crate would prevent it from jumping out of a moving truck, i'm pretty certain that it won't make a lot of difference in an accident...even if the crate is properly tied down to prevent it from flying around in the bed, the dog would still be violently thrown to the front of the crate, resulting in serious injury, if not death...for the seatbelt idea, it took a lot of crash testing to actually design seat belts, and/or child seats that didn't cause as much harm as they prevented...somehow i doubt that anyone has been crash testing vehicles with dog crash test dummies to see what actually happens...not that i am suggesting they spend tons of money doing so...i'm suggesting that the people who came up with this stupid idea drop it, and perhaps find something more constructive to do with the vast amounts of free time they obviously have.
recieved a very amusing solicitation in the mail while i was gone...while i don't usually care much for that sort of thing, this one made me laugh my ass off...it was sent to me by one of the local county sheriffs on behalf of the Sheriff's Association of Texas...here are some selected exerpts, beginning with the opening sentence:
I am writing you because I believe you are a law abiding citizen who has worked hard for what you have. I also believe you are tired of people who turn to crime as an easy way to make a living with little responsibility to society.
I would like to invite you to become an Associate Member of the Sheriff's Association of Texas for just $20.00. your anuual dues will be used to support crime prevention...encourage peace officers' participation in educating our youth about the dangers of drugs and the arrest and prosecution of drug traffickers...
Your Associate membership includes...
Information you won't get anywhere else...
Associate membership card for your wallet.
Two window decals...
etc. etc. etc.
After i stopped laughing, several things crossed my mind, and i of course wanted to share those things with you all.
1) Could they not take the time to edit the letter for correct grammar, punctuation, and sentance structure?
2) Could they not verify that i was in fact a law abiding citizen before sending this out? I ask this, because i have a life long history of amassing traffic warrants on unpaid tickets, and was arrested for possession of marijuana. I believe that this negates my qualification as law abiding.
3) Successful criminals work just as hard as the rest of us.
4) Are you educating, or arresting our youth, or both. My youth, btw, is long past.
5) There is always more than one way to get any information.
6) My wallet is sufficiently cluttered, and i don't use decals on my car or home.
nice to get a few laughs, even if that was not their intent.
i read earlier this week that three men decided to go streaking at their local Denny's...they had decided it would be a good idea to leave their car running so that they could make a quick exit afterwards...turns out this was not a good plan...while running through the restraunt clad only in shoes and hats, a glance out the window showed them someone stealing their car...plan for a qhuick escape foiled by unfortunate circumstance, they decided to hide between a couple of parked cars...this in 20 degree weather...luckily, or maybe not so luckily, a cop arrived shortly and collected them...what fun they must have had at the police station sorting it all out...it probably would have been a better idea to leave a friend in the car, but then again it would have been hard for said friend to pass up such a great opportunity to make them run a bit to catch a ride once leaving the Denny's...i know that is exactly the kind of prank i would gleefully play on any friends silly enough to want to streak Denny's.
Marcia Rowlette, who died in 1997, will finally be getting buried...turns out her husband, Edwin, had been keeping her body in the freezer these last six years...he had brought her home from the funeral parlor and stuck her in there in the hopes of having her resurrected someday...he thought he was cryogenically storing her...his daughter found the body in a chest freezer this september.
what a surprise that must have been for her.
after reading this morning's paper, i am firmly comvinced that Bill Engval is right...we must issue each stupid person a sign, and require them to wear it at all times...we must do this for their protection and our peace of mind...here is the story that sealed things in my mind:
A Fort Worth recycling company employee was in fair condition Friday night after losing both his lower legs in a metal and tire shredder. The employee had worked for the company for about a year. About 10 am Friday he jumped into the shredder to retrieve a crowbar he had dropped while trying to free up a jam. Both legs were severed about midcalf when the machine came on.
while i certainly feel sorry for this man, and his family, it does not temper the sheer stupidity of his actions...obviously he is too stupid to keep himself safe when allowed to work unsupervised near such dangerous equipment...had he been wearing a sign, his employers would never have allowed him to be alone under such dangerous circumstances...the sign would have ensured his safety...seeing as things like this continue to happen on a daily basis, the only solution is to require that all those unable to be aware of the danger of their actions wear a sign, so that the rest of us can make sure that they are not allowed to endanger themselves.
Sigh...wish things were realy so simple
a gunshot fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down striking a participant in the head, critically wounding him...the injured man remains hospitalized in critical condition, while the shooter has been charged with agravated assault and felony reckless endangerment...the irpny of this is wonderful beyond belief...too bad this sort of thing doesn't happen more often at klan initiations...after all if there is one thing we certainly need less of, it is simple minded bigots such as these...perhaps the wounded man will consider this a sign from above that he should not be part of the klan, assuming her survives...while i don't truly wish being shot in the head on anyone, i can't say i am particularly sorry in this case...i don't have much like for people who practice bigotry, especially of the sort the klan believes in...things like this do renew my faith in the inherent balance of things asserting themselves from time to time...may such balance strike more often.
a pair of clueless thieves stole a pickup truck, a 4 wheeler, a rifle, a dvd player and a cell phone...an Oklahome deputy sherriff called the cell number and the brilliant thieves actually answered the phone...not content to be merely clueless, the thieves were too mentally deficient to turn the phone off or disconnect the call, allowing the sherriff to listen in as they planned other crimes...they were also able to track the brainy pair v ia the signal, resulting in the arrest of the men...so what cave did these two grow up in...i can't believe there is anyone, let alone two people left in this country that don't grasp the concept of how to shut a cell phone off, and given that lack, i'm guessing the concept of caller id is completely beyond them, as is the ease of tracking location of mobile phones accurately...oh well, i'm sure they will have plenty of time to bone up on cell phone basics while in jail.
amusing little piece in this morning's paper about Customs seizing 756lbs. of bologna that some man tried to smuggle in the country at the Paso Del Norte bridge...evidently this genius, had removed the rear seat of his crew cab truck, and replaced it with 81 rolls of Mexican bologna, covered it with a blanket, and figured no one would notice...he did have his kids sitting on it to help hide it all...Customs could not say how long the meat had gone without refrigeration...i'm guessing a while...as if you are going to sneak that much warm meat past the dogs without them freaking out...Officials plan to pursue civil penalties against the Juarez man...i wonder what the penalty is for smuggling bologna.
saw a little blurb in the paper this morning listing the ten dead celebrities earning the most money...so as i'm reading this many things cross my mind...isn't this a little morbid, somewhat tacky, sad and exploitive...not that it stopped me from reading the list, which didn't surprise me much, both my morbid fascination, and who was on it...what did, and at the same time didn't surprise me was how much some of them earned...elvis of course topped the list at 40 million....dead forever and still pulling in 40 mil...quite an accompishment, not that he much cares, or reaps the benifits...that's more than me, my girlfriend, both our immediate families, our friends and their families, earned combined in that same year...not sure how i feel about that, other than i feel certain that his estate doesn't really need another 40 mil, and that money could have helped a lot of people who did need money in some way...while i respect the right to earn what you can and then pass it to your heirs, it would be nice if people would think to use possible continuing income like that to some sort of trust, foundation, or charity...after all it isn't as if Priscilla, Lisa Marie, or Yoko need any more money.
well, a new defining moment of two cards shy, maybe a candidate for hall of fame status for Charles Grissom, director of the Paris, Texas Blue Blazes Marching Band....this for his Visions Of World War II, which included a student running across the field with a nazi flag while the band played Deutschland Uber Alles, performed at Hillcrest High School on Rosh Hashana...i mean, how fucking out of it are you thinking it is not going to be disturbing, offensive and just plain dumb, to do this on the Jewish New Year holiday, at a school in a heavily Jewish part of town...DOH!...we were booed, things were thrown at us we were cursed, he said, as if this was surprising...well, i supposed he was surprised, as he had no clue...now he does.
read this letter to the editor in the opinion section of today's Dallas Morning News, and felt that it deserved to be printed here in it's entirity, so you could all marvel at the tpye of cretins we have living here.
Buy 'em bus tickets
An easy solution to the city's homeless problem is to shut down the 30-plus organizations in the city of Dallas that feed/house these noncontributors to society. The only thing the homeless need is a one-way bus ticket out of Dallas. I will buy the first one.
Roy Jenkins, Sachse
everytime i think i have the epidemy of ignorance and/or intolerance, something like this comes along to remind me how wrong i was in thinking that...no doubt bright boy Roy thinks that the homeless are comprised of people who are simply to lazy to work...i guess he thinks that they just act crazy, like living on the street, and are just using that near starvation diet as a quick way to lose some weight....or it could be in his worldview the homeless just woke up one morning and said to themselves HEY, i think i will just go live on the street, call their bosses and say, take this job and shove it, call their friends and family and tell them i'm dropping out, so if you want to talk, check the local shelters.
i thought it was very nice of him to offer to buy the first ticket, though i wonder when he was planning on bussing them to....is he just being selfish and thinking, HEY, let Los Angeles/New York or where ever have them, because they like them better there...or was he just going for the low cost euthanasia angle, and intending on bussing them to the middle fo the desert, or the far north, where the waether would quietly kill them off quickly...too bad it is painfully obvious that Roy just doesn't think.
so here is my thought...maybe Roy can take that bus money and try to buy a clue, although i'm guessing he couldn't find one...or maybe Roy can have a breakdown, and after living on the street for a while use that bus ticket to send himself to hell in a handbasket.
according to the paper, the hurricane was resposible for 17 deaths...i wonder how many of those were brainless fools out to experience the storm???
here it is, the next installment of search strings...today we venture into the just plain weird...stuff like the following makes me wonder what is going on in some people's heads.
What The Fuck???
1) hmo rule 7th day adventists - i can't even imagine what exactly this person was hoping to find with this...i suppose it might have been an attempt to determine policy.
2) humor tateless steak and cheese - this is just plain weird, aside from the apparent misspelling.
3) pork nonsense - as opposed to pork sense?
4) things i've learned you cannot make someone love you - you needed to search to find this out? maybe they were wanting a second opinion.
5) new post classified ads of used skating for sale in england - i had no idea that you buy used skating in england, or anywhere else for that matter.
6) throwing away old things yes and no - which is it, yes, or no? what old things? why the hell would anyone care? must be a better way to use your time.
7) antichrist slideshow - i wonder if they actually found any? who's, or what pictures would qualify for this show? who would spend time creating it in the first place?
8) art mom dad is not your fault i turned out this way unpleasant yaoi - whoa, what a long strage string this is...once again, what was this person looking for?
there has been a battle being waged in Pilot Point, Texas over art and ignorance, that proves once again that while you can't fight city hall, you can poke it in the eye...in the town is an art gallery, the owner commissioned a local artist to paint a mural on the exterior wall...the artist, a woman, painted eve in the garden of eden and the arm of god...i'm guessing a tribute of sorts to the famous painting in the sistene chapel...i liked the piece myself and while eve is nude it is done in the style of the great masters, and is certainly not obscene by any sane person's standards.
of course the powers that be in pilot point are not sane, and declaring it not only obscene, but a violation of the law, because it is public and children are being exposed to the obscenity...under threat of prosecution he was ordered to remove it, or cover eve's breasts, so that the kids would not be corrupted....appealing, and losing, he found a wonderfully ironic method to comply and stay out of jail...eve's offending breasts are now covered by a strip od painted crime scene tape....three cheers for this inventive solution...i bet most of the narrow minded twits, including the police chief, will miss the message here, but the rest of us can enjoy the joke, while crying over the stupidity of the entire incident.
found this gem in this morning's Dallas Morning News Sports section, on the outdoors page.
A Point Well Taken
Bison-goring incident reminds: Be wary in the wild
Thirty year old Jeff Bunch of Dallas has some advice for Texas flatlanders who might be traveling in national parks this summer. Watch out for the bison. According to the Aberdeen News in South Dakota, Buncg suffered a deep puncture wound to the left buttock July 6 and underwent surgery to remove an inch long splinter of bison horn. Bunch was touring Custer State park with his mopther and brothers, when the attack occurred. Jeff Bunch told the newspaper he was srtanding near the open drivers door about 20 to 25 feet from the nearest animal. "They looked so peaceful" he said. Without warning the it lowered its head, and charged, tossing Bunch into the side of the van. "I just want to get the word out to people how dangerous buffalo are" Bunch told the newspaper.
well DUH!
i bet he feeds the bears, flies a kite near high tension wires and prusues other equally bright activities....unbelievable that a 30 year old hasn't grasped the concept that large wild animals with sharp horns=danger....yeah, he is a texan, but that is no excuse...hell most texans, at least the ones in rural areas know the cows are dangerous, and would assume a larger wild version would only be more so....maybe the world will have lucked out and this moron was sterilized, if not as a result of the attack, then by the surgeon attempting to protect the world from any future offspring by this twit....i'm sure, somehow in all this, that we will all suffer some consequence of his stupidity, because those of us with sense always pay somehow for the mistakes of those without.
so the jury took less than an hour to decide chante mallard guilty of murder...nice to see the justice system work once in a while...too bad they won't give her death...fucking bitch deserves to die...she still blames everyone and everything but herself...she says she is sorry and deserves to go to jail, but "i was high", "it was the drugs"...fuck you, you self centered waste of breath...it was not the drugs, it was you....you drive the car, you ran him down, and then you left him to die...as if that wasn't bad enough, you and your asshole friends tossed him away like a piece of trash...take responsibility for your actions and quit blaming others for what you cold heartedly did...and thank you so much for giving more ammo to the anti-drug assholes in the process...no we have to put up with ecstacy causes weak minded bitches to kill jaywalkers...ugh